That’s my mom. They called her Denny. This is one of the five pictures I have with her. She hated taking pictures. Which I never understood because growing up she was THE absolute prettiest and coolest lady I knew. I think I was in the 6th grade when I realized that we were the same size and height (I stole all of her clothes!). Then people starting mistaking us for sisters. You know that made me feel EVEN cooler. And at whatever age you are in 6th grade, feeling cool is pretty high up there on the list of priorities.
My mom passed away on Sunday, April 28, 2013 (I always have to check back at her obituary because I purposely dismiss this day’s existence). Suddenly, everything I knew to be true was challenged. This experience took me back to when nothing mattered but the little things. When my problems were small. When I didn’t have any bills to pay (damn adulting is hard). When my only challenge in life was figuring out which shade of red lipstick was I going to steal from Denny this week–and how I was going to not get caught this time. She always caught me!
It’s been three years since she left me for her glorious spot in heaven and I am constantly searching to improve my new normal. How you ask? By allowing the little things in life be my motivation for living my best life.
1. Practice Gratitude
Denny taught me to be grateful for every little thing. So today, I am so grateful that I’m able to pay my cable bill so that I can watch binge-watch “Grey’s Anatomy” every single day on Lifetime. I know, this is silly. But it’s the little things right. Every day at 1pm I’m writing and watching. I’ve always wanted to be a writer but I didn’t realize that until I was much older. This show, and most of Shondaland, represents the space where I want to be. So by watching this I’m constantly reminded that a Black woman who had a vision created this empire. I just keep thinking, “this could be me.”
2. Indulge in the things you want
My dad use to joke and say, “That man in that brown truck comes here every day at the same time, is there something you need to tell me Denny?” He was referring to the UPS guy. If you knew Denny, you knew that part of her day (most of it really) was spent binge-watching HSN and QVC buying all of the “as seen on TV” products. While my mother saved money, she made it clear that you could not take any of the money you made with you so buy all the things you want. Our rule of thumb was, if you saw it and wanted it without looking at the price, it should be yours. So I buy the things I want. And it’s usually not those big expensive things either. It’s the little things. Like…I love taking Ubers instead of the subway trains. I have to have my fix of Swedish fish candies at least once a month. And buying sale items at 70% off at ASOS and ODing in Ricky’s makes the inside of my soul melt into teeny tiny pieces.
3. Lean on others for support
Some things are just unavoidable. Taxes. Talenti’s Southern Buttered Pecan ice cream. A full trash can in the bathroom. Your menstrual cycle. You get it right. While I haven’t found a friend nice enough to pay my taxes, I have managed to get my boyfriend to empty the garbage can and even run to the market for my essentials. He is my support when I just cannot move. Similar to o.b.® tampons. It’s a brand that will never let you down. My mother used them. And so do I. The best part about their support is it’s compact and discreet. Fits right into my makeup bag (ain’t she cute though). Sometimes I wish I could fit my boyfriend inside of my makeup bag and close it real tight, but not to tight that he can’t breathe…LOL!
Of course I’ve learned tons of other things from my mother but these are the ones that I LIVE by. So now it’s your turn. What are some of the things that you’ve learned from your mom that you do today? Chime in via the comments section below.
While this post is sponsored by o.b.® tampons via Socialstars, you beauties know that all thoughts and opinions are my own. Thanks for supporting the brands that make my blog possible! #OBelievers