Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays of the year. It’s the time you gather around your family and best friends for one common goal — eating! Oh, and to be thankful, of course. Here are some thoughts you have if you ever host Thanksgiving at your place.
1. Yay! Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday because all you do is EAT!
2. Wait. Why did I agree to have dinner at my house and cook for everyone?
3. Lemme get my ass out of bed.
4. Okay, I have all of my ingredients. But where is the… omigod, I forgot the stuffing!
5. Why do I always forget one main dish each year?
6. Next time, we’re doing potluck.
7. Nope, scratch that. Next year, it will be at someone else’s house.
8. Thank God the grocery store is open today.
9. Phew, I’m not alone. Everybody else forgot something too!
10. But why is only one register open?
11. Oh, so they thought no one was gonna be here today?
12. Then why are they open??
13. Calm down. You got your damn stuffing.
14. Everybody better eat this damn stuffing. That’s all I know.
15. Okay, dinner is done.
16. What do I wear?
17. Ugh, this isn’t like Christmas where I need to be a little dressy…
18. But I can’t get away with being too much of a bum.
19. Jeans. Yes, jeans.
20. It’s my house, so can I at least wear slippers?
21. It’s one day a year. Put on some real shoes.
22. I’ll pretend like I forgot to take them off if someone asks me about them.
23. People are arriving. Please don’t spill wine. Please don’t spill wine.
24. Did anyone else bring any liquor?
25. Oh, they really came into this house without something??
26. I know my auntie raised my cousin better than this?
27. Oh, where’s the nearest liquor store they ask?
28. They better had asked.
29. Okay, who’s saying the prayer?
30. Not me. I cooked.
31. Nooo… Uncle Ray is already drunk?
32. Why is he doing the drunk prayer?
33. Abort! Abort!
34. My family is so crazy.
35. But I love them.
36. Yay! Everyone likes the stuffing!
37. *Does running man in head*
38. There’s always one person who tries to take a plate home using a real plate.
39. *Grabs the paper plates*
40. *and foil*
41. But who is going to help me clean?
42. You know what? Y’all been in my house long enough. I’ll clean myself. Y’all gotta go.
43. I can’t front, though, this is the best Thanksgiving ever!
44. But I’m really not doing this next year.