Loaded with lots of up’s and a few down’s (or maybe I should just call them challenges), these last few years have been one for the books as my elders would say. I was on TV quite a bit, I moved to NY (and the back to Baltimore), but just before all of that greatness happened–my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma. (UPDATE 10/1/2015: My mother has since left this Earth for Heaven). But surprisingly even after the news of my mother’s new challenge, I am still so beyond joyous for this journey we call life. So when I thought of what my resolutions should be, I realized I had already begun working on a lot of them. I just hadn’t written them down or even committed them to memory. So here’s go. Really for my own reminder of sorts, and perhaps for you as inspiration!
When my mother was diagnosed with cancer I was overwhelmed with feelings. From anger to confusion, to sadness. But somewhere within the first five minutes of the news, I realized that God can’t possibly hate my mother or my family. He won’t have us travel down this incredibly, almost insanely, a difficult path without a purpose. So in order for me NOT to flip all the way over and out from watching my mother’s body deteriorate into nothingness, I had to find gratitude in this journey. First I realized how many people never get to have a relationship with their parents. And here I have an amazing relationship with both of mine. And when I thought about the woman I had become, it was all my mother’s doing. From how I spoke to people, how I styled my hair, even to how I perceive my own beauty. It’s because of our conversations that I am who I am today. So I don’t want to waste ANY time thinking about how different she looks now, or how angry I am that it happened to her, I just cherish the moments I get to spend with her. I am grateful that even as bad as it may seem, I can still make her laugh. She still smiles when I walk in the room. So I will continue to focus on those things.
I’ve been searching for what my purpose was for what seems like my whole life. My biggest question was, what do I want to do with the rest of my life? And then I realized that I was thinking about it way too hard. That my purpose was simple… to inspire and impact people to live. Whether it’s to inspire you to quit your job and move to New York… well that might not be your story, lol. But I might inspire you to try that pink lipstick I love so much or travel to watch your first Broadway play. Who knows! But I’ve come to realize I find great pleasure in inspiring you! So going into 2013, I’ll aim to inspire most people I interact with.
Oh, yea about that…it only takes a mustard seed of it, right! I remember reading that scripture as a girl and not having one clue of what it meant. Somewhere when I got fed up with working for the government I replaced my fear with faith. But I noticed it wasn’t a one time action. I just couldn’t say “I got faith” and then be blessed abundantly. I had to stop thinking about faith and really believe in it. I literally starting to replace the word think with believe. I believed that I could find a job that I loved in New York. I believed that could find a home for myself and the boo. So what can I believe in? Sky’s the limit right? I know you guys have made your resolutions already… chime in below in the comments, & if you are a blogger feel free to leave your links so that I can read yours too!